Big 10-4 good buddy. Holla at your American brotha. Mount the machine gun baby and signal signal:
Seems like he had to look a long time
before he gathered any answers
And by the time they came, he was just about down
Saw him looking in the schoolyard
in the churches and the poolhall
Trying to find an exit from desolation town
Halcyon nights and radio waves
Signal Signal Signal
Never fade away
The day that he heard it he was looking in the mirror
There were no more threads, there was no more help
And he knew without doubt
that the Classics of Love would not come from some bright star above
but would only be delivered through his own self
A Conversation sparked by Christopher Locke's 'Gonzo Marketing: Winning Through Worst Practices'. Started by Jeneane Sessum in 2001, Gonzo Engaged was the first Blogger.com team weblog. Let the games continue.
Thursday, October 09, 2003
Signal Signal
Digital Common Sense: "Like I said, What we seek is a signal. A connection. The network isn't about technology. It isn't about business. It isn't about profit. It's about connections. End points are people and people connect. Sometimes we connect with machines to gather information. Often times we connect with other people because we share some link, or bond, or passing interest.
Minutes have no value. Bandwidth has no value. Accessibility to connections brings value to uses and enhances the network. Just as blogging isn't about PR, or fame or technology, the net isn't about minutes or bandwidth or content. It's all about access to connections."
Signal Signal to my Homies. To all the people in the Jesus Bunkers of the World I send you Signal Signal. Do you copy? Do you copy? Send Signal Back. Pulse the Vain. Wire up your hearbeat to the network. Signal it to me Baby!
Bad Kids Writing on the Chalkboard , eh?
<#include stdio.h>
int main(void)
{
int count;
for (count=1;count<500;count++)
printf("I will not throw spitwads in class.");
return 0;
}
Hi gang!
int main(void)
{
int count;
for (count=1;count<500;count++)
printf("I will not throw spitwads in class.");
return 0;
}
Hi gang!
hey kevin
Kevin, I dug what you did at ConBlogger. You're a class act and a smarty smart guy. I was watching, you know. About the font--yes. This template. WTF--is it written with bookmaster tags? this template is the predecessor to sticks and a stone tablet. Man it's a pain in the ass.
I've kept my eyes open for a long time for a template that would give us the open feel of this free-for-all, but be, shall we say, easier on the eye. Nothing ever seems to compare with the ornery-ness of this damn look. I guess we just go with it. somehow the big font makes it feel even more like bad kids writing on the chalk board.
That works for me!
thanks for keeping the place well heated while I was away.
Marek, I just fell off the couch over Tupac Chopra. BLAH HA!
I've kept my eyes open for a long time for a template that would give us the open feel of this free-for-all, but be, shall we say, easier on the eye. Nothing ever seems to compare with the ornery-ness of this damn look. I guess we just go with it. somehow the big font makes it feel even more like bad kids writing on the chalk board.
That works for me!
thanks for keeping the place well heated while I was away.
Marek, I just fell off the couch over Tupac Chopra. BLAH HA!
welcome back
The big text was me. I probably over-reacted to the too-small version before. I don't want to go into that template again though. There be Dragons!
so jenna says...
what kind of a store do dogs hate to shop at?
A flea market!
speaking of which, the ants are back in this house. those motherfuckers. george killed them with boric acid and honey, but they bred superstrains of ants that are now fully resistant to everything except SARS and ANTRHAX.
Don't ask me how I know.
It's none of your business.
A flea market--HA HA!
A flea market!
speaking of which, the ants are back in this house. those motherfuckers. george killed them with boric acid and honey, but they bred superstrains of ants that are now fully resistant to everything except SARS and ANTRHAX.
Don't ask me how I know.
It's none of your business.
A flea market--HA HA!
wtf
marek, wtf did you do to the font size on the posts while I was gone. damn. is this one of those david weinberger things for people who don't see so good?
very smart.
i knew you had a reason.
very smart.
i knew you had a reason.
I love shelley
I love Shelley because:
She frames bridges against gray skies.
cuts careful paths with words
leaps off the paved road
runs bare assed through the woods
and that's what you do
when you care about
the nature of things.
she writes like oils to canvas
paints who she is, who we all are
human--did you forget?
she is as honest with us
as we are
and more.
she holds on so tight
white knuckled grip
protecting
my heart, his, yours, hers.
she has been holding
on for all of us.
Release.
We can carry the load
for a while
until the bridges call
say clouds are waiting.
They sit nudged against
fine lines of silver and black
waiting for you
to bring them to us.
She frames bridges against gray skies.
cuts careful paths with words
leaps off the paved road
runs bare assed through the woods
and that's what you do
when you care about
the nature of things.
she writes like oils to canvas
paints who she is, who we all are
human--did you forget?
she is as honest with us
as we are
and more.
she holds on so tight
white knuckled grip
protecting
my heart, his, yours, hers.
she has been holding
on for all of us.
Release.
We can carry the load
for a while
until the bridges call
say clouds are waiting.
They sit nudged against
fine lines of silver and black
waiting for you
to bring them to us.
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
institution digested my brain too.
I'm supposed to be working. Dr. Marek J., I need you to fix me. With your systems thinking. Please. My brain is not listening to me this evening, the eve of the "big deadline."
Let me tell you the tale of the client who has recently eaten my brain. I suppose they can find me here. I supposed you could say I don't care if they do.
So one of them says to me, she says, "I noticed that sometimes you use the same word in two sentences in a row. We kind of have a policy where we don't do that here."
I said, "Oh. Huh?"
She said, "You know, important words. Not minor words--you can use those kind two times in two different sentences. I'm talking about the important words--the major words."
I thought, "Oh. Huh?"
I said, "Oh. can you give me an example?"
She said, I think, it expanded or something. That our expanded offering would do x y z. And then you called it expanded again soon after that.
(okay, that's a suckass sentence anyhow, I thought. Shame on me but who cares.)
I said, does it have a name yet? or what are you calling it? Do you know?
She said, No.
I said, oh, then what makes it different--I mean, what's new about it.
She said, well it is expanded.
I said, Oh. Okay.
And so there are like twenty examples that are eating away at my brain, when all i want to do is write and mean and say and spew and play my keyboard like a steinway.
this week is not going so well.
I'm glad I came home.
Do you have any soup?
Let me tell you the tale of the client who has recently eaten my brain. I suppose they can find me here. I supposed you could say I don't care if they do.
So one of them says to me, she says, "I noticed that sometimes you use the same word in two sentences in a row. We kind of have a policy where we don't do that here."
I said, "Oh. Huh?"
She said, "You know, important words. Not minor words--you can use those kind two times in two different sentences. I'm talking about the important words--the major words."
I thought, "Oh. Huh?"
I said, "Oh. can you give me an example?"
She said, I think, it expanded or something. That our expanded offering would do x y z. And then you called it expanded again soon after that.
(okay, that's a suckass sentence anyhow, I thought. Shame on me but who cares.)
I said, does it have a name yet? or what are you calling it? Do you know?
She said, No.
I said, oh, then what makes it different--I mean, what's new about it.
She said, well it is expanded.
I said, Oh. Okay.
And so there are like twenty examples that are eating away at my brain, when all i want to do is write and mean and say and spew and play my keyboard like a steinway.
this week is not going so well.
I'm glad I came home.
Do you have any soup?
Honey, I'm HOME!
Marek--is it twu? is it twu?
Are you a citizen? And a systems thinker? All in one? Did you keep the systems thinker thing under wraps during your swearing in (or acting out)? Jaysus--don't tell them. Don't let them know you're a systems thinker. I don't want to think what they could do to you. Go see the dick-headed pig on RB's blog. It could happen. They have ways, you know.
Good to see you, man.
I'm back.
Are you a citizen? And a systems thinker? All in one? Did you keep the systems thinker thing under wraps during your swearing in (or acting out)? Jaysus--don't tell them. Don't let them know you're a systems thinker. I don't want to think what they could do to you. Go see the dick-headed pig on RB's blog. It could happen. They have ways, you know.
Good to see you, man.
I'm back.
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
Can a Systems Thinker become an Entrepreneur
Via Corante we chance upon this article called The Entrepreneur as a Systems Thinker: A Revolution in the Making As I was reading this article the first words out of my imaginary mouth were YES! - YES! like I am having an orgasm - because somebody has finally nailed it. The Systems Thinker.
Oy, are we in trouble now Bruner. Oy, are you gonna be a pig now! - "Gonzo Marketing" I said to myself outloud; I have been thinking about capturing that one distinction that's hidden there in the book; well, not hidden but hidden from view if you are looking at parts only - that one distinction of Gonzo Marketing is Systems Thinking; as a whole and not a sum of it's parts. The system as a oneness in its entirety and not the whole as all of it combines, not enumerated and added but indivisible body.
So I dove into this article and I was completely suprised that such an article could be written, and Michael Gerber dares to say that it's a Revolution in the Making. Oy Bruner, You Pig! A Systems Thinker, Ay?!
So! So? Hm. Can I ever become an etrepreneur? And that's the problem. Because I don't know what that is. I don't know what 'Being Entrepreneur' is. Is it being a Systems Thinker? Hold on. I am babbling here. Yes, writing this article unedited as I am reading the abmentart (ABove MENTioned ARTicle)...
So let's enumerate the parts of the distinction as provided by Bruner, I mean Gerber.
What is a Systems Thinker?
1) A Systems Thinker is one who intuits and sees the whole of a thing, the entirety of it, the one-ness of it, the integrated unity of it, as opposed to merely the sum of its parts.
2) A Systems Thinker transcends the world in order to transform it.
3) A Systems Thinker is an inventor as opposed to an engineer.
4) A Systems Thinker sees purpose in everything, and sees the system as the realization of the purpose.
5) A Systems Thinker sees meaning in everything, and if not, pursues everything until the meaning becomes clear, until the System reveals itself in all its glory.
6) A Systems Thinker is possessed by the meaning of things.
... and thus Gerber concludes - "All great entrepreneurs are Systems Thinkers. All who wish to become great entrepreneurs need to learn how to become a Systems Thinker. Or, more accurately, need to develop their innate passion for seeing things whole. "; and a bit of "We are the World, We are the Children" thrown in there as well in the following words "For transcending the world. Their world. Our world. All worlds.". I think Bob Geldof would have been pround. Shit. I am proud.
OK. I wanted to write more about it but I lost interest. But anyway, being a Systems Thinker that I am I think I will go and follow the example and clean my messy desk and start becoming an Entrepreneur. The author seems to thinnk that clean desk is the way to go. OK then, I shall be teachable Systems Thinker.
I thank you humbly for your attention for the courage to read these snippets of fragmented thoughts as they collided with the possibility of emergent wholeness being born from the clarity of my frustrations. Well. Good day. Off to Poland I go to attend a Carnival. A Systems Thinker's Carnival. I even got a black suit for it and a tie too.
Oy, are we in trouble now Bruner. Oy, are you gonna be a pig now! - "Gonzo Marketing" I said to myself outloud; I have been thinking about capturing that one distinction that's hidden there in the book; well, not hidden but hidden from view if you are looking at parts only - that one distinction of Gonzo Marketing is Systems Thinking; as a whole and not a sum of it's parts. The system as a oneness in its entirety and not the whole as all of it combines, not enumerated and added but indivisible body.
So I dove into this article and I was completely suprised that such an article could be written, and Michael Gerber dares to say that it's a Revolution in the Making. Oy Bruner, You Pig! A Systems Thinker, Ay?!
So! So? Hm. Can I ever become an etrepreneur? And that's the problem. Because I don't know what that is. I don't know what 'Being Entrepreneur' is. Is it being a Systems Thinker? Hold on. I am babbling here. Yes, writing this article unedited as I am reading the abmentart (ABove MENTioned ARTicle)...
So let's enumerate the parts of the distinction as provided by Bruner, I mean Gerber.
What is a Systems Thinker?
1) A Systems Thinker is one who intuits and sees the whole of a thing, the entirety of it, the one-ness of it, the integrated unity of it, as opposed to merely the sum of its parts.
2) A Systems Thinker transcends the world in order to transform it.
3) A Systems Thinker is an inventor as opposed to an engineer.
4) A Systems Thinker sees purpose in everything, and sees the system as the realization of the purpose.
5) A Systems Thinker sees meaning in everything, and if not, pursues everything until the meaning becomes clear, until the System reveals itself in all its glory.
6) A Systems Thinker is possessed by the meaning of things.
... and thus Gerber concludes - "All great entrepreneurs are Systems Thinkers. All who wish to become great entrepreneurs need to learn how to become a Systems Thinker. Or, more accurately, need to develop their innate passion for seeing things whole. "; and a bit of "We are the World, We are the Children" thrown in there as well in the following words "For transcending the world. Their world. Our world. All worlds.". I think Bob Geldof would have been pround. Shit. I am proud.
OK. I wanted to write more about it but I lost interest. But anyway, being a Systems Thinker that I am I think I will go and follow the example and clean my messy desk and start becoming an Entrepreneur. The author seems to thinnk that clean desk is the way to go. OK then, I shall be teachable Systems Thinker.
I thank you humbly for your attention for the courage to read these snippets of fragmented thoughts as they collided with the possibility of emergent wholeness being born from the clarity of my frustrations. Well. Good day. Off to Poland I go to attend a Carnival. A Systems Thinker's Carnival. I even got a black suit for it and a tie too.
SFBG Guardian Guides: Bars and Clubs
SFBG Guardian Guides: Bars and Clubs : "Czech writer Jaroslav Hasek was an alcoholic anarchist who got his writing career started by writing polemics against himself under pseudonyms in the two party newspapers of Prague. When he wrote for Animal World, a magazine for Czech animal lovers, he reported on muskrat invasions and rampaging packs of collies. Under the influence, he started the Party of Moderate Progress within the Bounds of the Law, which lost despite the free pocket aquarium offered to anyone who voted for them. "
Yes, I am a member but not as Progressive as others.
This morning at 7am I read a post at Wealthbondage about Hasek and Svejk. Then I walked to my library and picked "Good Solider Svejk" book. There I sat in the glow of the computer monitor, the kitchen light; drinking coffee, reading the absburdities and bathing my mind in fresh laugher of Wednesday morning's madness. And there 7am I was Svejk. Maybe I am Svejk pretending to be Marek J. Feels like it sometimes.
Anyway. Random link on Hasek:
Members, Past Members and Future Members and Not-Ever Members of The Party of 'Sligth and Mild and Not Too Much" Progress Within the Limits of the Law (Always within the Limits) have gathered together Marking the 120th anniversary of the most famous Chech writer Jaroslav Hasek's birth.
Anyway. Random link on Hasek:
Members, Past Members and Future Members and Not-Ever Members of The Party of 'Sligth and Mild and Not Too Much" Progress Within the Limits of the Law (Always within the Limits) have gathered together Marking the 120th anniversary of the most famous Chech writer Jaroslav Hasek's birth.
A Glimpse Into The Beginning of Madness
Here is where the
madness began. "They killed him in Sarajevo, Mr. Švejk. They shot him with a revolver as he was riding with that archduchess of his in an automobile."
madness began. "They killed him in Sarajevo, Mr. Švejk. They shot him with a revolver as he was riding with that archduchess of his in an automobile."
Tupak Chopra
Rageboy is promoting a new Tupak Chopra album There is an excellent song on the album called "Bruner, You Pig!". 5 stars rating on this one. Tupak is rocking. Good music for pigging out.
404 Not Fishrushed
404 Not Found: "Not Found
The requested URL /blog/ was not found on this server.
Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request"
Louie to Fishrush! Louie to Fishrush! 404, over!
The requested URL /blog/ was not found on this server.
Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request"
Louie to Fishrush! Louie to Fishrush! 404, over!
ARJLog
ARJLog: "I'm in the middle of a painstakingly slow rework of my database and my code to produce an all new wonderful pile of hand written Python scripts, which maybe has some whiz-bang and RSS feeds or that 'We can't decide on a name' syndication format (personally, I think they should just call it 'The Nameless One' which has a nice evil creepy ring to it"
O! The Nameless One! Thy shall rule them world and take over Brunerland and all the pigs will fly!
O! The Nameless One! Thy shall rule them world and take over Brunerland and all the pigs will fly!
ARJLog
ARJLog: "Oh, and if you have something Freudian to say about my ripe tomatoes, I could care less. I've already had a dream about one-eyed snakes; it doesn't get any worse than that."
Sunday, September 14, 2003
EmptyBottle.org: Japan Rocks Part One
EmptyBottle.org: Japan Rocks Part One: "I made my way through customs - the guy finding it odd that I only had an overnight bag, and amused when he found my two cup ramyeon packages inside - and straight to the hotel booking desk. Everyone on the various fora I'd checked before I'd left had said that the women who staffed that desk spoke excellent English, and were invariably helpful.
The girl there spoke English alright, but, in that annoyingly reticent way in which the Japanese break bad news, informed me that there wasn't a single goddamn room left in the whole city.
Ah, shit."
The girl there spoke English alright, but, in that annoyingly reticent way in which the Japanese break bad news, informed me that there wasn't a single goddamn room left in the whole city.
Ah, shit."
Saturday, September 13, 2003
Dario Fo
Dario Fo: "The Nobel Prize in Literature 1997 awarded to Dario Fo 'who emulates the jesters of the Middle Ages in scourging authority and upholding the dignity of the downtrodden"
Online NewsHour: Nobel Prize for Literature: Dario Fo -- October 9, 1997
Online NewsHour: Nobel Prize for Literature: Dario Fo -- October 9, 1997: "It's very hard to describe Dario Fo plots because they are anarchic. And all of them deal with subverting either church ideology or government ideology or capitalism in some way by refusing to do something--in this case refusing to pay for goods that were substandard. All of his plays in some way tackle basic givens, societal givens, and question why society is set up that way, and why some people have and some people don't. In a sense I think that's the role of any great clown is to make us look at ourselves in a defamiliarized way"
Online NewsHour: Nobel Prize for Literature: Dario Fo -- October 9, 1997
Online NewsHour: Nobel Prize for Literature: Dario Fo -- October 9, 1997: "A clown in the deepest sense of the word"
Dario Fo - The Birth of the Jongleur
Dario Fo - The Birth of the Jongleur: " I was not born a jongleur; I didn't suddenly turn up as I am now, with a sudden gust from the skies and, hopla, there I was: 'Good day... Hello.' No! I am the result of a miracle! A miracle which was carried out on me. Do you believe me? This is how it came about! I was born a peasant.
A peasant? Yes,"
A peasant? Yes,"
Dario Fo - The Birth of the Jongleur
Dario Fo - The Birth of the Jongleur: "Kind people, gather round and listen. The jongleur is here! I am the jongleur. I leap and pirouette, and make you laugh. I make fun of those in power, and I show you how puffed up and conceited are the bigshots who go around making wars in which we are the ones who get slaughtered. I reveal them for what they are. I pull out the plug, and... pssss... they deflate. Gather round, for now is the time and place that I begin to clown and teach you."
Monday, September 01, 2003
International Titanic Meeteup Day Photos
must check this out.
Monday, June 23, 2003
Saturday, May 10, 2003
Disney wants your dirty hands off their lovable Pooh
Disney Cheats? No. No. I don't think it's possible.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/3015721.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/3015721.stm
Thursday, May 08, 2003
ghastly greens
As any infant who ever stared down overdone leafy greens in terror will verify, there is one aesthetic lesson learnt well in early life: if it’s good for you, it must also look horrid. Treats with a sugar content geared to the junior palate are packaged well in primary colours and, even when unwrapped, excite the gaze as much as the metabolism. Wholesome food products, by contrast, such as ‘health’ bars, muesli or indeed anything with a surplus of oats, seem to take their design cue from government issue text books.
Coco, the Coco Pops monkey, is a striking psychedelic rebel whom I would have very much liked to have free-based cane sugar with as a child. An enticing dealer, Coco continues to tempt small persons into his yellow world of compromised values and high glucose thrills. Look at Quaker Food's product range. It simply appears as though it was designed by the world’s least thrilling pharmacist. Oatmeal, although really quite agreeable, looks like medicine to the childish eye. Coco Pops are packaged as an irresistible dose of contraband.
One matures, makes personal purchasing decisions and, presumably, discovers that both spinach and breakfast carbs might be acceptably prepared and eaten. The graphic lessons of childhood, however, are indelibly writ: if it’s wholesome or if it is worthy, it MUST be as ugly as sin.
An stockpile of dietary advice across the last few decades has transported many consumers from saturated fat dependence. Persuasive packaging aside, we have acquired the skill of swallowing vegetables, lean meat and grains all on our own. Without the help of pretty boxes or, indeed, mom.
Adult consumers might very well wise up in a culinary sense. Many of us overcome nutritional guilt in our twenties. We can hurl garbanzo beans or lentils into our carts and our digestive tracts without a second thought. Yet, a new kind of consumer guilt has supplanted the old. The shame we once reserved for the damage we were doing to our guts is now afforded to the damage we could be doing to the planet.
A new kind of guilt demands a new kind of Hair Shirt packaging. The graphic design creed If It’s Virtuous, It’s Gotta Look Crap is now amply applied to environmentally friendly product lines.
SAFE toilet tissue is a decent product. The job for which it is intended is adequately done. I am an adult consumer unafraid of the legumes and high fibre victuals aforementioned and my research finds that this toilet paper is of a respectable grade. So WHY does it look so darn awful? I am mildly pleased, I guess, to discover that it is wrapped in ‘biodegradable’ paper (as opposed to that other kind of nasty paper made from polythene trees that does not degrade) and is wrought from virgin plantation pine pulp and recycled clean office waste. I am utterly confident that no dolphin’s blow hole was obstructed in the making of this product. I am, however, aghast by its design elements. Specifically
(1) There is a great big Check forming the ‘A’ in the SAFE logo. Excuse me? I am a cranky 34 year old woman who many years ago ditched her desire to please Professional Educators. I do not care to be given an ‘A” for effort, neatness nor anything else and I DO NOT crave a ruddy great check. As a relatively green consumer, I am pleased to learn that only virgin plantations and office recycling bins have been violated en route to my fundament. I did not at any point, however, in making my FMCG choice ask for some upright hippie’s approval. I do not want to be awarded a grade. In selecting SAFE toilet tissue, a secret covenant was forged between my anus and the earth. The ‘check’ is a hindrance. The environmental Bell Curve just gives former fans of Coco the Cheeky Monkey license to rebel. No gold star nor green check on my forehead, or anywhere else, thank you.
(2) The ghastly type-face. Family friendly and sans-serif, the SAFE font blares faux-innocence and triple fronted brick veneer. There are many people who do not, even if they have reproduced, wish to be reminded of children’s hand-writing. What in the good earth’s name could a kid’s scrawl possibly hope to sell apart from toffee at a mini fete?
Erath Choice dishwashing liquid does the job. In utter candour, it is infinitely more cost effective than many other non-Green brands. Again with the colossal graphic design failure! A World Book Encyclopaedia circa 1983 type ‘Blue Planet’ is the crest of this product. Australia is facing the viewer and night appears to be falling across my continent. Which, if you ask me, only serves to remind slovenly house-keepers that it’s twilight and we still haven’t done the frigging dishes. Morning Fresh, by contrast, offers a rising sun and complete sterility. Naturally, there are more amorphous bush type leaves and indistinct lines.
As you will have observed, dolphins are frolicking on many Enviro-loving household cleaning items. This is also beyond my ken.
There is no need for the High Moral Ground to be entirely decorated for people without a design clue. Let’s get market share and masterful graphic minds on the green products case.
Coco, the Coco Pops monkey, is a striking psychedelic rebel whom I would have very much liked to have free-based cane sugar with as a child. An enticing dealer, Coco continues to tempt small persons into his yellow world of compromised values and high glucose thrills. Look at Quaker Food's product range. It simply appears as though it was designed by the world’s least thrilling pharmacist. Oatmeal, although really quite agreeable, looks like medicine to the childish eye. Coco Pops are packaged as an irresistible dose of contraband.
One matures, makes personal purchasing decisions and, presumably, discovers that both spinach and breakfast carbs might be acceptably prepared and eaten. The graphic lessons of childhood, however, are indelibly writ: if it’s wholesome or if it is worthy, it MUST be as ugly as sin.
An stockpile of dietary advice across the last few decades has transported many consumers from saturated fat dependence. Persuasive packaging aside, we have acquired the skill of swallowing vegetables, lean meat and grains all on our own. Without the help of pretty boxes or, indeed, mom.
Adult consumers might very well wise up in a culinary sense. Many of us overcome nutritional guilt in our twenties. We can hurl garbanzo beans or lentils into our carts and our digestive tracts without a second thought. Yet, a new kind of consumer guilt has supplanted the old. The shame we once reserved for the damage we were doing to our guts is now afforded to the damage we could be doing to the planet.
A new kind of guilt demands a new kind of Hair Shirt packaging. The graphic design creed If It’s Virtuous, It’s Gotta Look Crap is now amply applied to environmentally friendly product lines.
SAFE toilet tissue is a decent product. The job for which it is intended is adequately done. I am an adult consumer unafraid of the legumes and high fibre victuals aforementioned and my research finds that this toilet paper is of a respectable grade. So WHY does it look so darn awful? I am mildly pleased, I guess, to discover that it is wrapped in ‘biodegradable’ paper (as opposed to that other kind of nasty paper made from polythene trees that does not degrade) and is wrought from virgin plantation pine pulp and recycled clean office waste. I am utterly confident that no dolphin’s blow hole was obstructed in the making of this product. I am, however, aghast by its design elements. Specifically
(1) There is a great big Check forming the ‘A’ in the SAFE logo. Excuse me? I am a cranky 34 year old woman who many years ago ditched her desire to please Professional Educators. I do not care to be given an ‘A” for effort, neatness nor anything else and I DO NOT crave a ruddy great check. As a relatively green consumer, I am pleased to learn that only virgin plantations and office recycling bins have been violated en route to my fundament. I did not at any point, however, in making my FMCG choice ask for some upright hippie’s approval. I do not want to be awarded a grade. In selecting SAFE toilet tissue, a secret covenant was forged between my anus and the earth. The ‘check’ is a hindrance. The environmental Bell Curve just gives former fans of Coco the Cheeky Monkey license to rebel. No gold star nor green check on my forehead, or anywhere else, thank you.
(2) The ghastly type-face. Family friendly and sans-serif, the SAFE font blares faux-innocence and triple fronted brick veneer. There are many people who do not, even if they have reproduced, wish to be reminded of children’s hand-writing. What in the good earth’s name could a kid’s scrawl possibly hope to sell apart from toffee at a mini fete?
Erath Choice dishwashing liquid does the job. In utter candour, it is infinitely more cost effective than many other non-Green brands. Again with the colossal graphic design failure! A World Book Encyclopaedia circa 1983 type ‘Blue Planet’ is the crest of this product. Australia is facing the viewer and night appears to be falling across my continent. Which, if you ask me, only serves to remind slovenly house-keepers that it’s twilight and we still haven’t done the frigging dishes. Morning Fresh, by contrast, offers a rising sun and complete sterility. Naturally, there are more amorphous bush type leaves and indistinct lines.
As you will have observed, dolphins are frolicking on many Enviro-loving household cleaning items. This is also beyond my ken.
There is no need for the High Moral Ground to be entirely decorated for people without a design clue. Let’s get market share and masterful graphic minds on the green products case.
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