DIY Asshole

Certificate of Upgrade
to
Complete Asshole

is awarded to



____________________________________


In recognition of your obnoxious attitude, ability to piss people off, complete asinine juvenile behavior and total dedication to personal gain without regard to the many hardships you have forced upon friends, family and other during your lifetime, you have become a legend in your own mind.

To recognize your upgrade from half-assed to complete asshole, gives all concerned great satisfaction. If anyone, for any reason, doubts your status,

JUST BE YOURSELF!


____________________ ____________________ ____________________
Effective Date Signed

Last Things

Q: What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield at 65mph?

A: Its asshole.

Which Happy Bunny Are You?

Congratulations. You are the "kiss my asshole" happy bunny.

You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud!


which happy bunny are you?

joining our assholes together as one...

so I notice over on the right sidebar there---yeh, right over there---> that you can now change the date and time of your posts to "future post" your writing, blasting pixels through the space/time continuum landing smack dab on new year's eve 2005 (i.e., the last day of 2004).

HOLY SHIT I says to myself, I says.

I think that this makes perfect sense. We must all now begin writing backwards toward one another. We start on the eve of 2005 and write our way back to the present, where we will join ourselves, one another, and perhaps even one another's assholes, since moving through the time/space continuum requires much velocity. Or so I hear.

So fuckit. Skip this new years eve and write your way a year past that, then make a u-turn, and write your asshole right back here.

last one to do a loopty loop is a rotten egg.

Growing Up In Amerika

Essence

Telegraph Road

"But believe in me baby and I’ll take you away
From out of this darkness and into the day
From these rivers of headlights these rivers of rain
From the anger that lives on the streets with these names
’cos I’ve run every red light on memory lane
I’ve seen desperation explode into flames
And I don’t want to see it again. . .

from all of these signs saying sorry but we’re closed
All the way down the telegraph road"


Dire Straits
Lyrics - (Telegraph Road Lyrics)

On Every Street

"Somewhere your fingerprints remain concrete
And it’s your face I’m looking for on every street"

Dire Straits Lyrics - (On Every Street Lyrics)

On Every Street Baby!

Loss Of Images

(found via wood s lot) On "The Loss of Images, or Through the Sierra de Gredos": "Handke's retrospective utopia is about loss, however, and the purpose of the journey that this novel describes is not to avert loss, but to make it felt" (...)

"Ordinarily, I start with myself and my own headaches; in the course of my writing, I detach myself from them more and more, and then in the end I ship myself and my headaches off to market as a commodity"

read more on Handke