Friday, April 04, 2003

Project Dell'Essum (aka iBook'Essum)

We have raised 456 gazillion Dollars which is about $200. Keep'em coming.

Breaking News:
Marek J fired today for suggesting to a management team a new NoFuckingWayTM project methodology of finding solutions to impossible objectives. Project Dell'Essum started.

Summary of Methodology
NoFuckingWayTM methodology consists of a furious screeming employing full blown lung capacity and well rehearsed phrases one learned by watching mafia shows starring Joe Pesci, phrases like "They Fuck You In The Drive Through!!!" followed by a screem of victory one learned watching Die Hard - "Yupi Kay Ey Motherfucker!!!!!" After acknowleding one's complete frustration at ever getting what one really wants one has a complete sense of hopelessness and at the same time a sense of anything being possible, hence the cry of victory being born in one's lungs, Yupi Kay Ey, Yupi Key Ey. At this point our famous NoFuckingWayTM project methodology can begin to take hold. It is a victory born from defeat.

Project Dell'Essum
Jeneane Sessum, our beloved blog sister is in need of a brand new Dell Laptop or iBook. In the spirit of Worst PracticesTM I am beginning a project testing the worthiness of my NoFuckingWayTM methodology by giving birth to Project Dell'Essum. (Aha, explanation in order: Dell'Essum (aka iBook'Essum), for those of you with higher education is made up of words Dell and Sessum etc.. Get it? Good)
The Objective is to raise $2000 American Dollars in the next 48 hours. Everybody should gladly donate the money while screeming NoFuckingWayTM. It is the only way to test the wortiness of my new methodology. If you employe the phrase then your donation will be that much more meaningful (well, not really but why not lie to yourself that you are doing a good thing). However if you decide not to donate at least a $1 then you are not allowed to say NoFuckingWayTM, this project is not for you and don't ask me to speak at your next management meeting on effective measures of effectivness of project management.
Jeneane Sessum needs a brand spanking new laptop so she can write and get new clients and hire us to build the next Media Empire (I mean, you do want bloggers to be in charge of Media, right? Well, cough up the money)

Take Action:
Click the Donate Button below. It goes directly to Jeneane's Paypal Account. If you want to pay other ways then email me and we'll arrange that.

We'll run a list of donors on this post and hold off any posts on this site for the next 48 hours untill we reach our NoFuckingWayTM objective.

Donors to Project Dell'Essum
2 anonymous donors
Tom Matrullo - 7 zejiion and 5 bambulbion Dollars
Laurie Schuh - 23 grazillion Dollars.
Kevin Marks - 15% discount on the purchase of a Mac and 3 jijilion Dollars spare change
RageBoy - 5 gazillion Dollars
Chris Pirillo is working on something
Marek J - 10 grambillion Dollars "I am proud to screem NoFuckingWayTM while clicking the donate button."

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