does the damn thing work?

No.

Did it ever work?

Yes.

Did you touch it last?

Who, me?

Are you who I think you are?

No.

Does the damn thing work?

No.

Did you touch it?

Yes.

Did you break it?

Mom? Is that you? I put the feather pillows on the floor and poured water on them so they'd make a neat squishy sound when I jumped off your big bed into the middle of them.

You ruined them.

Yes.

Go to your room.

okay.