Saturday, March 29, 2003

Bada Bing Booby Prizes Rejection in Yellow 23 additive Opus 45

"You've had your last pointless teardrop washed down in that broken coffee cup
This magic moment concludes when that cigarette ends
Did you get what you wanted? Well, I suppose that depends... Well, I suppose that depends" ~ Elvis C.

"Self esteem is the existential booby prize"

Snake eating its own tail.
The snake says "I understand"
and in its own understanding it devours its own mystery.

She told me "why don't we go to marriage counseling"
and I turned to her and said "Why bother. You have already decided to leave".

The time to revive life is when the patient is still on the operating table
and not when you are in the middle of lowering the coffin.
She wanted a miracle.

Are you in a business of Love or in a business of stiching body parts.
Don't wanna be your Frankenstein to make your self esteem go off the charts baby.

I wanted a miracle too.
And I wanted my self esteem to go off the charts too.
"Will I ever be your man?", I asked.

"I don't think so", she said
I didn't get my existential booby prize with her.

I attacked, "It's always about you, isn't it? you narcissistic bitch"
I turned around and wanted to leave.
I wanted a horse, I wanted a sunset and I wanted to ride with my back to her

But I had to save myself from the exlosion of my self esteem.
I cancelled the sunset, deleted the horse, undid the turn.

I looked at her and cried.
The only thing that could save me was my fear.

"If you go, if you go where passion is squandered and money is spent"

and I had my first Bada Bing moment.
And my fear came to me and embraced it lovingly.

"You must see it's time that you wept"

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