Saturday, March 01, 2003

SXSW Austin Texas

I just decided to go and hang out and see what's up. Call me if you want to meet up. 214 7070 6306 or email

The truth will make you free

Oh, My Brazil.

Where hearts were entertaining June
We stood beneath an amber moon
And softly murmured someday soon...
We kissed...
And clung together
Tomorrow was another day
The morning found me miles away *
With still a million things to say
When twilight dims the skies above **
Recalling thrills of our love
There's one thing I'm certain of
I will...
to old...

The truth will make you free but first it will piss you off.
And so it goes. The movie Brazil. My neurosis. Growing up in Poland. Proper Paperwork. This Paper doesn't have a proper stamp. It's not stamped correctly. That will be 20 zlotys. Sign here. We will not accept this paper untill it's stamped. My Brazil baby. We kissed.

But they said there are other places on the planet. Warmer places. With genuine smiles. Amerika they called it. I called it my Brazil. Were hearts were entertainig June. We stood beneath the amber moon....well, scratch that. She went to Germany.

Brazil. The masked-man is going to make me better. I am better already. My neurosis have been cured. Nothing to write about any more. I pay my taxes and mow my lawn on Saturday mornings. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Brazil. I can't shake off that silly past that's constantly in my eyes. What a pupass this is. (Pupass is a way of calling sombody infantile. I made this word up from pupa in polish. Well, if you ever read Ferdydurke you know what I mean.)

So anyway. Pupass. It's been a lot of Pupass recently. Infantile extravagance with Bada Bing moments. Please move on. There is nothing to see here. Brazil. When will you leave me alone?

Friday, February 28, 2003

eBay profits from airport confiscations

The California Department of General Services is taking potentially dangerous items confiscated from passengers at airports in Oakland and Sacramento and putting them up for bids on And plans are underway to start hawking items seized from passengers at airports in Los Angeles, Ontario, California and Orange County....The most common items are probably Swiss Army knives and corkscrews, ... and hatchets" - more...

and Cake guys sing

"They laugh, they make money
He's got a gold watch
She's got a silk dress and healthy breasts
that bounce on his Italian leather sofa."

Gonzo Lawn Ornaments

It would be peculiar to find out from Jennifer how she got us spammed in the first place. I have sent here a friendly letter. Well, one line really "Jennifer, who can I help?" but no replay arrived yet. and Kevin, I did not find the tasteful ornaments but it was Matrullo who shoved it up my inbox. Of course I also need to understand this Power Law distribution so I can construct some crazy arguments to throw at Shirky. Thanks Kevin for doing that... I think we need to set up comments on this blog, hm, and redesign a bit. Need more blood red and more bullet holes. I will get right to it, right after that case study with Lawn Ornaments... Jennifer?!, Jennifer???!!! Reply back or we'll let the state of washington know you are shamelessly engaged in illegal spam manufacturing.

Thursday, February 27, 2003

Lawn ornaments and an offtopic question (if such an animal actually exists on this blog)

Re: Lawn Ornaments company. This would be an interesting case study. Compare the profits of the spammer company to the results produced from going "gonzo". It also might be a interesting book - "Lawn Ornaments: from spam to gonzo", or something like that. Gonzo concepts sometimes appear to be somewhat nebulous and hard (if not impossible?) to implement. It would be interesting to see how the Income Statement (real profits and real dollars) would change in a small company such as this one during and after the "transformation".

Offtopically, How doese one search Google News?

I don't understand how to do this and am certain that there's an easy solution. Let's say you want to search the daily news headlines for ALL the news EXCEPT certain topics (i.e. bush, blair, "jesus was a stoner", fish, "saints calling all the little children into ebenezer's netherland"). On the advanced search site, there is a box FIND RESULTS WITHOUT THE WORDS BOX, but when I enter my excluded words into that box, this is what's returns. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! How does one enter the equivilent of *.* star-dot-star into the "Find results with all of the words" Google Box? | Comments/help/suggestions. (Thanks for any help)

Gonzo Lawn Ornaments

Frank, Marek, Denise, Micheal, Tom and I received an odd spam about buying lawn ornaments online. Marek found some more to his taste elsewhere. I looked a bit closer and discovered someone in need of a clue:
We aren't in business without your help!
We need and appriciate your feedback and and comments; Ideas for improvement are always welcome. So, please feel free to contact us by mail, phone or e-mail:
*AAA* Gift Idea
1723 E Mallon
Spokane, WA 99202

I passed this on to the cluetrain mailing list, soliciting marketing clues,and copying the address above. I got a reply at once:

On Wednesday, February 26, 2003, at 09:50 PM, JENNIFER HARSHMAN wrote:

I just received your email. Did I request this information from you? I do like the idea. I have no clue if you are a marketing company or what. I'm sorry I don't recall your name, I spent a lot of time trying to advertise my company. So let me know what's up with this.

So I responded:
Jennifer, you (or someone else employed by you) sent unsolicited commercial email to myself and some colleagues of mine.

This is very rude. Not only that, it is illegal under Washington State law:

But most of all it is not going to help you promote your business, as it just makes people cross with you.

If you are seriously interested in advertising your company on the net, you should do the following:

Sign up for the cluetrain mailing list

send a blank email to:

Read Gonzo Marketing:

And start a weblog:

I'll keep you in touch wiht furtehr developments.

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Kikkoman. Kikkoman.

Show me. Show you. Kikkoman. Tarakalasu. Tibu Tibu Tibu Didi Didi. Kikkoman. Teki ka. Sharaka. Kikkoman. Show me. Show you. KikkoMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....nnnn!!! O Right! (via Dave Bary)

.... and then I said

I have been a bad girl. Yeah Baby! B A D. BBBBBaaaaaaD.....BBAAAAA DDAA BING BAD girl.

Good Girl, Bad Girl, but not dirty girl

She had me at hello:

"On one level, I'm absolutely delighted and surprised with the success of these books," Tuttle says. "On another level, there's a part of me that intuitively sensed there was something here and that there would be a lot of women who would respond to an open invitation to unleash their inner wild."

Then came the filter. Tone down that wild. Leash the unleashing.

"'s not about dressing like a slut and sleeping around. That's pretty unimaginative as far as I'm concerned."

Almost there. Almost.

"It's cool to be able to turn your own neurosis into a cottage industry," she says

Now we are there. Dig your humanity.

Said She, Said He. Said They. Said He. Said I.

Said she: "This day is a day I dreamed about my entire life. I see smiles and laughter. I see babies and grandbabies. I see comfort and safety. I see me in a white dress, and I see it with you…I can now tell you without reservation that I am in love with you."

Said he: "I love you with every ounce of who I am and offer you my hand, my heart and soul and my love, forever, if you’ll have it."

Said ABC: "Oh God, please let us beat American Idol in the ratings tonight."

Said I: "what a show "

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

on...Your mouth getting washed out with soap

Below Marek's response to Tom's Post concerning language. This nugget popped out:

We need translators. Those shamans of old who speak both the language of the tribe and the language of the gods. We need translators who can live in one language and then shift and live in another. We need language travelers. Language shifters. The world is much richer than the best constructions of English language can ever reveal.

That whole "boy goes away from the village to big city and comes back and village now sucks" thingy comes to mind. Not the message of Marek , yet I wonder. I wonder about this whole thing of change. I have friends who are damn set on keeping their "language" pure. Their God. Their jobs. Their microwave dinners. Don't change things comes the reply when bringing up different languages.

Some of us embrace change/new languages like a needle full of good stuff. We dig. It is our juice. Almost. Don't be raving against our machine though. I suspect many of us that do this danged journal thing are such folk. Where is my f'n point....

How do you inspire people to change? Don't gimme those damned answers that consultants give CEO's. How do you speak to people in their language while bringing them into awareness of something new? Something other. Holy? How do WE get THEM to see it. Shit. That is it.

We already have to much we and them. That guts language (at first). Starts wars. Makes you different than me. You are not. Not in that place where we all run and hide. The place where no one sees. That is the gene they need to find.

I want to throw on a Russian skin and speak the language of Ruskis. Gimme. Yet, I don't know how NOT to be different.

And the point that is

Crazy was the point. Now, not only to I get to suck up what everyone on the redcarpet wears. Now, I get to clothe my avatars. Unbelieveable. Marek wrote a piece about consumption and MTV a while back (would link but yeah). Consume baby or we will force feed you.

Monday, February 24, 2003

Of Anxieties and wanting to be There but not Here

and There we go again. I have no idea what this post from Jscott is about. Was he drinking? I thought he was going to write something brilliant and instead we got this squashed shit. Dude, get a grip man.

Sunday, February 23, 2003

Virtual worlds wearing virtual clothes and I hate the word virtual

(editor's note:Because I have been informed by the One they call Precious that my below post sucked I will state what I thought was the obvious. The below is suppose to be in the tone of sarcasm. Hum that note please. Thank you. The reference to the "New New" thing was a clever addition. Thank you again. Thanks.)
The F word comes to mind. Just cause it is so exciting. It is like the movie Lawnmower Boy or whatever it was called. Strap on goggles and a suit and zoom away. Perfect hair and sex and pancakes and shit as that. From what I get from Business 2.0 there is this company called There inc. Indeed there. Gaming and chat on roids. Not any roids. The kind that give you big, fat, nasty bulges. Here is their description:

"There is the first online getaway that gives you the freedom to play and talk naturally while having fun and making friends. Check out the pictures below for just a glimpse of what you'll find in There. Then sign up to be one of our Beta Testers and see it all for yourself!"

Ok, so they have lame wordage. But it ain't. I mean that is like big deal-who cares. What is the Big big (new new) deal is the shit they are doing with other corporations. Apparently, when you sign up (ok I did) you get a near naked human. You choose the sex (I chose a woman cause I wanted to see her naked), skin color, blah blah. BUT....Then they give you these dollars and stuff. You actually buy clothes for em and stuff. Like Nike and what-not (and stuff). So, Nike is making digital gear. Like no friggin way. But yes way.

So that is wild and all but man the wilder stuff is the thinking about your personal identity and virtual reality.

I mean I have secretly longed for a world where I was supermanish or evil supermanish and could be the idol of all those near and dear. Call it a God/god/gawd complex. Whatever. Point being that branding digitally is mucho more than a damn website. I hate the word branding by the way. Reminds me of Branded. That TV series. Reminds me of cows too. So, I hate words branded and virtual. On we go.

PIcture a situation/case flocking study

So, the nerd boy burger flipper next door gets into his virtual suit everyday after work. Slooom slam. He becomes Johnny Blondie. Ladies man. Hunk. Smart guy. Corporate financier sans surfer. He gets chics and money and cool clothes. Hell, dude figures out how to sell e-book/website subscriptions to his "How to be a freakin chic magnet in 7 hours--guide to gettin on the sex and attention you can handle." He makes a fortune. Nike gets him to wear their new sex athletic gear. Ring ring. Money machine.

So, there is not there. However, I am. I mean in my head.

I am tired of brainstorming. Bada bing goes the machine.

Of Language and Bridges Construction

Commenting on Jeneane's post at Tom's new Stir I decided to post it here because I am trying to say something I am not sure what so here we go doing some construction with words.

"We need a bridge somehow across languages through language"

A Bridge? There is a Bridge Tom (I later realized it was Jeneane's post). The Bridge is not Looking for One but realizing The Bridge is when one decides to build it. If I were to speak with someone who grew up speaking Other Language then the first thing I would want to know is 'How does world look like in your language?'. I am quite a Whorfian guy. I see the Language creates reality one lives inside of. The language one speaks one uses to build the world one sees, comments on and lives inside of. In a way we are creatures of Language (not a definite thing of course. We are creatures of many things).

So how do you build language? I think there needs to be some education in American Schools for speaking another language - not 'foreign language' but 'another language'. After all, when children are growing up English Language is quite foreign to them. Then, growing up, they live with it and mold the world around and inside of them. It is the same as playing a musical instrument. It is a language of sound that affords us to see something inaccessible by the language of words. So it may be in Polish. When I live inside Polish language I am one person and when I live inside of English language I am another. But then again when I listen to Rachmaninov I don't know who I am. I am housed in a different placed when Chopin touches my soul. Perhaps the road to Peace on Earth is for us to be open to discover the place we get housed in when we allow a different language to live through us.

We need translators. Those shamans of old who speak both the language of the tribe and the language of the gods. We need translators who can live in one language and then shift and live in another. We need language travelers. Language shifters. The world is much richer than the best constructions of English language can ever reveal.

Breaking news from Radio B.D.B.I.N.G.

HBO, The leading fireplace manufacturing company for the average Global Family and the maker of Bada Bing TV glow fireplace substitute has asked Marek J to cease and desist using the Tradmarked phrase of its award winning boob-tube joyful-hour family warmer. In his statmennt, Tony Soprano, the spokesman for the HBO, mentioned that "it is important to provide warmth and joyfullness to the average Global family gathered in front of our 36 inch fireplace. We are the Producers of one of the best Glows out there and we fill the whole 36 inches with Suspense, Drama and Laugher. We own all 36 inches and we rely on the genuine Glow our fireplace produces to bathe every member of the Global Family". After receiving the cease and desist letter Marek J has turned off his fireplace thus decreasing Glow Production on the Planet.

Breaking news from Radio K.A.O.S.

Radio K.A.O.S. has received a nasty letter tonight from Jonathan regarding the citizenship application of the one they call the Polish Village Idiot who is pretending to be the Agent of Worst Practicies with Titanic Deck Chair Rearrangement Corporation. We will not reveal the contents of the letter since we are aggresively pursuing the financial backing of the HBO to rewrite the next episode of Sopranos to include the aftoresaid accusatory writing. Also, for fears of retaliation and a possibly anonymous phone call to INS we have sent an invitation to Jonathan to spew his rotten opinions on this blog (provided by Ev whom we do not like). We thank your for your attention. We now return to our regural programming from the computers of Clear Channel Communications located on the western shores of the Zambezi river and stretching their tenacles to extend the Mix NOISE FM pollution into Alaskan Wilderness with the blessings of the FCC. God Bless Amerkia.

Number 89

Dear Mr. Presley,

I've always had a feeling that your excessive use of the phrase "bada bing" would lead to trouble with the INS. Regretfully, I failed to convey my concerns to you. However, having recently learned that Yahoo has purchased Geocities and Rocketmail, I thought this would be a good time to utilize the synergies provided by the Yahoo/Geocities/Rocketmail combination and communicate to you in this synergistically enhanced medium.

Seriously though, hope everything goes well with your plight. BTW, I have a call into Agent 86 at Control to see if I can help with matters.