Tuesday, January 08, 2002

Where did your copy of The Bombast Transcripts ship from?

And now... for a short break in the Shirky action....


Amazon shipped my copy of the Bombast Transcripts from Campbellsville, Kentucky at 7:11:48 on January 7th. Did I say copy? I meant copies. I ordered four of those mothers. What do you think clocke was doing at 7:11:48 EST, when his book shipped to me? I’m guessing he was dreaming about the fun he had at those rant parties “back in the day,” or listening to the needle go thump-thump-thump at the end of the Dire Straits album he never turned off the night before. Yah, I’m betting it’s the album, not the CD.

And as he slept, my Bombasts traveled north to Lexington, then later that day, south, to Knoxville, Tennessee, where they hit the dock near midnight. They were tired, you know? Lots of miles already—just hanging in their air-bubble wrap, wondering why they didn’t just go straight from Cambellsville to Knoxville and skip the northward detour to Lexington altogether.

On the 8th of January, it was off again from Konxville at 3:20 in the morning. Who the hell put these things on the truck at 3:20 in the morning? God bless them, whoever they were. My Bombasts then fled south from Tennessee to Georgia, where they reached Pleasantdale, Georgia at 8:00 that morning.

Now here’s the kicker. I’ve never heard of Plesantdale although it’s apparently right in my sweet little Metro Atlanta area. The other kicker—my bombasts sat in Pleasantdale until 9:34 that night. Shit, it took the less than 24 hours for them to make a tour around the state of Kentucky, through Tennessee, and come to rest in Georgia. And now they’re sitting about 20 miles from my house for a whole day? I have a good mind to go to Pleasantdale and get them. I wish the guys who put them on the truck in Konxville at 3 in the morning were working in Pleasantdale.

I’m hoping that tomorrow they’ll travel northward again, to the teeny tiny town of Acworth, where I am waiting so anxiously I have just demolished a box of these new Kool Stuf (which can only be pronounced “kool stoof”) Oreo toaster pastries. Have you had these things yet? Holy cow, they are some of the best stoof I’ve ever had in the sweets department. They hit you like no-doze too. I’m good for four hours of writing on a packet of those kool stoofs, which are for all intent and purposes, pop-tarts, but Nabisco’s big bad branding guys knows better.

Got Yours?

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